Referred to by Oprah Winfrey as the Marriage Whisperer, Harville created Imago Relationship Therapy, a therapy for couples now practiced by over 2000 certified therapists in 30 countries. He is also the author of the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want, which has sold over two million copies.
He believes that we select our mates in order to heal the wounds of our childhood and that we are brought together in order to “co-heal” each other. I asked him what his definition of a healthy relationship is...this is what he shared:
#1 - The primary hallmark of a healthy relationship is having the experience of emotional and physical safety with our partner. They are reliable and predictable and we don’t feel any fear or anxiety around them.
#2 - We have an experience of deep connection with them.
#3 - When you are with your partner you feel joyfully alive or relaxed into joyfulness.
As you set your intentions around manifesting a soulmate, you may want to consciously decide that you will feel safe, deeply connected and joyfully alive with your beloved.
To listen to the entire one hour interview: