9/14/2011 10:00 AM
Sometime ago I had a post on my blog about "What men really want..." and today I have received this message from of my FB friends. I felt that I had to share... Such a powerful message....
Re: What Do Men Really Want? I really liked this question you posted for a chance at giving. So I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I have been with my partner for 16 years and who became my husband 11 years ago. We were both very young at the impressionable ages of 20 and 22. I brought with me a signed divorce certificate and a two year old boy.
...For many years I treated him as though he was in my life for all if the reasons that should only benefit me. I treated myself like I was only in his life to give him sex. We grew up slowly and built our lives around this self serving and one sided idea of mine and our careers. I often disregarded and down played his own feelings and desires. I eventually drove myself to cheating on him within just a few months after marriage because I felt it wasn't benefiting me. I did tell him about everything I was doing and decided it was time to separate after a year. There wasn't a particular man that I was involved with at the time. He asked me to stay anyway and try to be faithful and devoted to him for a little while longer. So I agreed with an open mind and a fresh attitude. After two years of putting our marriage first even through the mundane and most tedious of times, I realized on the eve of our third wedding anniversary that I did love him. It was a realization that the love I had for him was so real, honest, and pure that I was humbled to my knees and sobbed. That moment my husband knew that everything had changed. The following evening we conceived our first born son. Years later and through continuous struggle I have only come to an even better under standing of what he wants and what I mean to him. For awhile I believed that giving him four children was the best and most that I could and should do. Recently I have felt forgotten and unwanted, undesired and unnecessary. I started thinking of all of the things I used to want and wasn't receiving. Then I started intimately talking with old male friends and my lustful desires began poisoning my heart. I was quickly becoming self centered and self absorbed again and loved getting the attention from once almost boyfriends. Then an amazing thing happened. My husband told me what he wanted from his wife and how he felt about her. He wanted respect, affirmation, support, encouragement, trust, appreciation, gratitude, loyalty, and intimacy. Most important thing above all he wanted that from me. My attitude changed over night. I re-devoted myself to him and shut out everything and everyone else. I put our children to bed and we locked the door. We began sending each other text messages and private pictures of ourselves as though the recipient was a stranger. The eagerness and desires returned stronger than ever. I am learning how to be the woman my husband wants and deserves and it is very rewarding and joyful. This is the role I was made to fulfill and once I accepted that responsibility I realized just how magical and beautiful our marriage can be.
Sophia, you have my blessing to share any part in whole or abbreviated of this message as you wish.
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