10/5/2011 9:21 PM
Christy Whitman and her co-author Rebecca Grado, have just written a new book, Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want), that really addresses this issue and I've asked them to share their thoughts with us today.
Christy and Rebecca say:
Many women have cast aside their feminine natures and taken up a more aggressive, masculine stance - in other words they've fallen into the trap of being an "Alpha Bitch".
Now don't be too quick to dismiss the alpha bitch as behaviors other gals do. Although most smart women stop short of over-the-top antics; it's probably safe to say that many other go-getters, are quite capable of pulling the "bitch card" every now and again.
And while there are certainly times when it's appropriate, it's holding you back more than you may think.
You see, the more aggressively you push to achieve your desires (and that includes attracting a soul mate), the more distance you end up creating between yourself and your dreams.
That's because the underlying beliefs fueling the Alpha Bitch behaviors are based in fear and scarcity. It's just not possible to attract your greatest visions, or your ideal mate, from these lower vibrations.
Love and abundance can't come into your life from a space of fear and scarcity-- they're simply not a vibrational match. So, how can you shift from the disempowering Alpha Bitch stance to an empowered, yet feminine woman? Try these three steps:
-- Recognize that your forceful, aggressive, or controlling behaviors are being fueled by thoughts and beliefs based in fear and scarcity. When you catch yourself in this mode, ask, "What am I afraid will happen if I'm not in charge or in control of this situation?"
-- Release these thoughts and beliefs by replacing them with more life affirming, abundant ones like: "The universe is always working with me and for me. In this moment, I am safe and protected. Abundance is always flowing to me and through me."
-- Reclaim your true empowered and abundant self by remembering that you are so much more than your outer persona. Within you lies a wise, radiant, graceful, and abundant woman. Align energetically with her.
Only by shifting from the tense, rigid, and anxious stance of the alpha bitch, to the open, flowing, and calm one of the empowered feminine woman, do you align yourself with higher vibrations, positioning you to attract easily and efficiently.
Is "Taming Your Alpha Bitch" the right book for you?
You may be thinking, "I'm not an Alpha Bitch, so I don't need this book." Right?
Well, the answer may surprise you.
Sure, you may not be a FULL-TIME Alpha Bitch like some of the characters you see on TV, but you know as well as I do, that there are times when you're Alpha comes out.
We've all learned that to get what we want in our professional and personal lives, sometimes we have to be a little bit... bitchy...Right?
While this may work for you at times or even in the short-term to get what you want...
Unfortunately, it ends up causing you more pain, frustration, anger, and stress in the long run.
Let me explain.
There are four different types of Alphas. (See if you can relate to any of them in your life.)
1. The Forceful Alpha rules with an iron fist and has a "take no prisoners" approach to life and love. She can be overbearing, caustic, and harsh. On a good day, she comes across as powerful and assertive. But when her take-charge attitude is fueled by force rather than authentic power, she can become domineering and aggressive.
We've received the message that only hard-hitting, tough gals get the success and respect they deserve. If we want love, we have to aggressively pursue promising options. If we want a thriving career, we have to bulldoze our way through the competition to create it. In essence, if we're going to get anywhere in this world, we had better learn how to throw our weight around like a man.
2. The Controlling Alpha is relentlessly outspoken, arguing for her position until those around her cave in to her demands. She is directing all others and running the show. She sets the agenda and dictates not only what everyone will do, but also when, how, and with whom. She is convinced that her way is the right way (and, let's be honest, the only way) to do things.
Whether she comes off like a demanding drill sergeant or prefers to pull the strings quietly from behind the scenes, the Controlling Alpha knows that over time her tenacity will pay off and eventually her friends, family members, kids and co-workers will end up doing exactly what she wants.
3. The Competitive Alpha goes into overdrive when hearing about the accomplishments or acquisitions of another. She is constantly looking over her shoulder to see who is doing what—and who might be poised to outdo her in some way.
When a Competitive Alpha perceives herself as being in the lead, she feels smug and energized. But when she finds herself coming up short next to her competitors, she is likely to become withdrawn, depressed, or to lash out in a jealous rage.
Life for this woman is a perpetual game, and she is obsessed with keeping score. She has to prove that she is the best at everything, from the shape of her body to the size of her diamond ring, to the prestige of the position she holds at work. Only after she's made it clear that she's the best does she feel content.
4. The Disruptive Alpha suffers from a nearly constant need for attention that drives her to do almost anything to secure her share of the spotlight and claim her rightful place at center stage. Notoriously self-centered, this Alpha female can be loud, disrespectful, abrasive, and dramatic. She simply isn't satisfied unless all eyes are on her and she is the topic of every conversation. This woman is a master at creating tension and discord. There is only one thing this drama queen loves more than a good scandal, and that's spreading it like wildfire until everyone has been sucked into her dramatic tale.
Okay, so those are some pretty extreme examples of full-time Alphas. Right?
And while you may not be a full-time Alpha Bitch like those listed above, I guarantee that you do "channel" your Alpha Bitch at different times in your life to get what you want.
Let's take a quick look at some more subtle examples of how we become Alphas in our own lives to try to get what we want.
Forceful Alpha: Instead of speaking with a loving and kind voice, you bark orders at your partner.
Controlling Alpha: When you are driving in the car with your partner and he goes one way and you want him to go another way, you feel anxious. You then ask him, "Why are you going this way?" Or if your husband changes the baby's diapers totally differently than you do, you start telling him how to do it "your" way. It is also very hard to admit when you are wrong, and you go out of your way to prove it.
Competitive Alpha: When you are feeling good about yourself and you see another successful or beautiful woman, you start comparing yourself to her and start feeling badly about yourself. When you hear your friend just lost 10 pounds, you start feeling badly about yourself and don't want to be around her. Or your friend just got a raise or a nice new car, you feel envious.
Disruptive Alpha: When you exaggerate stories or make the issues in your life seem even more dramatic than the situation calls for. When others are telling their stories, you have to tell them yours because you want to be heard.
As you can see, we all channel our different Alphas at different times to get what we want, and what's really unfortunate is… it's actually causing us more pain, suffering, and stress by doing it this way.
Approaching life in a forceful, controlling, competitive or disruptive manner ultimately works against you by introducing conflict, struggle and confusion into your personal and professional relationships, which actually prevents you from attaining the success you're seeking.
Please realize though – it's NOT your fault.
Seriously, we've all been trained and conditioned since we were little girls that if we wanted something, we had to be a little forceful, controlling, competitive, disruptive and "bitchy."
Being an Alpha Bitch is NOT who you are.
It is a role that you play that is not doing anything but harming you, your relationships, and your creations.
There are easier and more effective ways to create the success that you want. Trying to control everything (one of the traits of an AB) will not get you what you want. In fact, it gives you the opposite.
Being loving and in your POWERFUL FEMININE (let those words sink into your soul and vibrate) will bring you all the rewards you are searching for in your life.
You are reading this because you are ready for an awakening.
It is the Divine Feminine that will heal the world. It is the Divine Feminine that will shift the energy. It is the Divine Feminine, not the typical masculine approach we are accustomed to.
You are not a bitch.
You are so much more.
You have no idea how powerful you are.
You are using your power each and every moment of the day, but are you using that power to create what you want or what you don't want?
This is what "Taming Your Alpha Bitch" is all about.
Don't you think it's time for you to shift your approach?
And TYAB will do just that.
You'll instantly shift from "Alpha Bitch" to "Fierce and Feminine.
Here's the exciting part.
I've arranged to give you a FREE copy of, "Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want)" delivered right to your front door.
Taming Your Alpha Bitch will show you step-by-step exactly how to release your Masculine Alpha and replace it with your Fierce Feminine.
Thanks Christy and Rebecca! And guess what? They've have already been booked for NBC's Today Show in January.
Taming Your Alpha Bitch doesn't hit bookstores until January 30th, 2012 and you can learn more about it NOW and preorder your free copy by going here.
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,