7/27/2012 4:31 PM
During an attack early Friday at a midnight showing of The Dark Night Rises, 24-year-old James Holmes allegedly set off gas canisters and used a semiautomatic rifle, a shotgun and a pistol to open fire on theater-goers, Aurora Police Chief Dan Oates told news outlets Sunday. Holmes supposedly bought the weapons at local gun stores and 6,000 rounds of ammunition over the Internet, Oates said. The Aurora theater massacre left 12 dead and 58 wounded, some critically. We, like the rest of the world, are horrified.
“Authorities disclosed that he is refusing to cooperate and that it could take months to learn what prompted the mass shooting,” reports CBSNews.com.
Although James Holmes’ motive for his alleged shooting rampage has yet to be determined, another aspect of the case that has everyone talking is his relationships prior to the incident. What was James Holmes’ personal life like? Those who knew Holmes prior to the attack describe him as quiet and smart, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that could conclude he had violent tendencies.
Sources are now reporting that Holmes was an online dater. “Most mainstream outlets are either ignoring or downplaying alleged photos of the suspect with dyed-red hair and accompanying reports about dating-site profiles,” says Denver’s Westword Blog. However, TMZ reports that Holmes had profiles on AdultFriendFinder and Match. com, and finds its sources credible, even having checked to make sure IP addresses match up.
If troubled men like James Holmes lurk dating sites like AdultFriendFinder. com and Match. com, daters beware. We all know that online dating could lead to dangerous encounters if you’re not careful, so how do you spot the warning signs before it’s too late and you’re left in a compromising position?
According to TMZ, James Holmes’ dating profiles stated that among his favorite things: Star Wars and the book, “Where’s Waldo?” He also stated, “I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Mind = blown.” (Screenshot here.) Just a regular guy, you’d think… “It can be very tough to tell because you get limited information on a dating site,” says Elizabeth R. Lombardo, psychologist and author of “A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness.”
Lombardo says, you can spot a psychopath like so:
- A true psychopath has a superficial charm that, at first, may be seen as attractive.
- Someone who is a psychopath gets bored easily, is often fired because they do not follow the rules and because of poor insight.
- They have unrealistic and often grandiose goals.
- They life off others, not taking responsibility for themselves.
- They are impulsive.
- They are very skilled at playing a certain role. They can put on a charming mask for awhile, but psychopaths are egocentric — only think about themselves.
- Act coldheartedly. Example: When they hear what others would view as upsetting to others, they have no real reaction.
- Blame others. Things that go wrong are NEVER their fault.
- Don’t follow through with plans.
- Are dominant and “require” you do what they want you to do.
And as far as online dating goes in general, Lombardo says you can protect yourself by:
- Going with your gut. If something feels strange, trust your intuition and stay clear of that person.
- Keep personal info to a minimum.
- Remember, these individuals are irrational; they do not think the same way you do. So take smart steps to being safe AND keep your guard up for any clues that something is not right.
We don’t want to completely discourage online dating. We’ve heard of many success stories of couples who fall in love after having met on a dating site (me included). Just be careful out there.
By: Ysolt Usigan http://theblush.com/2012/07/23/james-holmes-online-dating/